If you have been keeping up with my blog you know that G is completing another year of school for a degree in EET (Electric Engineering Tech) and only has one more semester to go! Now, I may be biased but let me just say that he works SO hard. As the kind of person that will take her sweet time sometimes, or get caught up in a whole bunch of new projects at once, I am amazed at how one man can dedicate himself wholly to one thing to accomplish it. Not only accomplish it, but typically finish it several days or a week ahead of time! So imagine my shock when he tells me that due to one group project he may not pass a class. The very idea of him having to repeat a class is shocking, but equally shocking is the lack of dedication from his other group members that must have led to this. I'm sure that G had his fair share to do with it, but as his wife and primary supporter I immediately fought the desire to be angry. I am a planner, and he and I could see the end of the long struggle and strain that him attending University is on our family.
I used to believe that if you did the "Christian" thing right that you never suffered or struggled. Now I see that perspective to be skewed because if that were right then you would have to believe in works-based salvation! Although I don't understand much, I do understand that despite my imperfection I am saved by the blood no matter what I do. So when I hear of injustice like this I know that it isn't important how I feel about it. The important thing now is our reaction. This is how marvelous marriages and faithful living happens.
At first I was shocked and angry on the phone, but thankfully recognized the need for a calm perspective. Although I have no clue what he means by half of the jargon he uses, I tried to help him see a solution so that when he broke the news to his team he could help lead. As soon as I got off the phone I called my Mother who helped put things in the right way. While I wanted to go on about how unfair this was and how angry I was, she reminded me that our reaction was the most important, and that we needed to have faith that God's plan is better than our plan. It isn't worth even thinking about the potential awful outcome of this because we should be seeking the Lord.
G spends a lot of time away from our family. For the longest time I was bothered by this because it seemed like he was completely separated from us, but after a while I discovered that the best way to reconnect and feel close to him was to pray for him. So immediately I gathered the kids into our living room for an emergency prayer time and nearly just as immediately I was reassured. I texted G that same reassurance- letting him know we prayed and that we were available for him at any time.
Like I said before, I don't pretend to have the answer to happiness. There is no way for me to control what happens in G's life or to control his emotions. But I can say that prayer works, and no matter what the outcome is... we can handle it.
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